I'm a loner alone with neuroses and hate
Anger is a permanent character trait
My letter bombs are primed and ready to send
Would you like to add me as a friend?

I'm a wound-up whiner with a fetish for guns
I'm almost 50 and I live with my Mum
I hope my nude picture doesn't offend
Would you like to add me as a friend?

[Chorus]
Add me, add me
My mother says she wished she'd never had me
Add me, add me
Would you like to add me as a friend?

I'm a recovering alcoholic, I rarely leave my room
Peeping through the curtains in my dog costume
The voices in my head, aah, they'll get me in the end
Would you like to add me as a friend?

I'd really like to mail you the picture that I drew
It's Kylie's body but the head is you
I've asked you sixty times before I'm asking you again
Would you like to add me as a friend?

[Chorus]

here's a picture of me in my Nazi uniform
Doing a trick with an egg that I like to perform
At a monster truck rally that my Mum and me attend
Would you like to add me as a friend?

I've added Britney and Paris and you and Tom
I'm going to find your address so I can visit you at home
I don't like people but I think I could pretend
Would you like to add me as a friend?

[Chorus]

Copyright: Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Writer(s): ALLAN WHALLEY, JUDITH ABBOTT, LOUISE WATTS, NEIL FERGUSON