If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house (maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car (a nice reliant automobile)
And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars (I'd build a tree fort in our yard)
If I had a million dollars (you could help, it wouldn't be that hard)
If I had a million dollars (maybe we could put a little tiny refrigerator in there somewhere)

(You know we could just go up there and hang out)
(Like open the fridge and stuff and there'd all be foods laid out for us)
(With little pre-wrapped sausages and things, mmm)
(They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon)
(Well, can you blame them? Yeah)

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet (yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars (we wouldn't have to walk to the store)
If I had a million dollars (now we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more)
If I had a million dollars (we wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner)

(But we would eat Kraft dinner)
(Of course we would, we'd just eat more)
(And buy really expensive ketchups with it)
(That's right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups, mmm)

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
I'd be rich

Copyright: Songtrust Ave, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Writer(s): Ed Robertson, Steven Page