Looking back now, I didn't know what it was supposed to be
And, and it's like raising kids, man
If you weren't raised, you don't know how to raise, you know?
I just did the best that I could with them because
They know fucking well I love them
But I didn't do the best I could
I didn't know what the fuck I was doing
I didn't
I will never forget watching my mother get put in a straightjacket
And taken out of my home when I was only seven years old
She was diagnosed with Dementia praecox and put in a mental institution
Leaving my daddy alone with me and my little brother Lloyd
I later had an evil stepmother who further cemented the idea that I didn't need a mother
Growing up without one had long lasting impressions
I didn't fully understand until much later in life
It bled into my relationships with family
And those I had become romantically involved with
Whenever I got too close to a woman, I would cut her off
Part of that was vindictive and partially based on fear
But it was also totally subconscious
Looking back is a bitch, isn't it?

Copyright: Downtown Music Publishing, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Writer(s): Abel Tesfaye, Daniel Lopatin, Jeff Gitelman, Max Martin, Oscar Thomas Holter, Quincy D. Jones